So, i tried doing that whole telling a story through letters thing. didn't work out. FUCKIT. today is the 31st december. it is approximately 9.34pm NOW. so there is still 2hours and 26minutes left till the new year. if you ask me, it just DOESNOT feel like the 31st december. i can recall around five or six 31st december's right now, and none of them have felt like this. it doesn't even feel like december. crap. i calm. i stop complaining.
ok, so here's the deal. i have spent my 31st december in a very odd sort of way. well, not odd. i just haven't done anything that someone would say 'OH MY GOD YOU DID THIS ON 31st AND IT MUSTA BEEN SO MUCH OF FUN'. ive done things which have made me feel nice only. yes. friend of mine's come down from hyderabad. had a nice time with him in the morning. ate pizza and burgers and saw a lot of pretty-pretty people. spent most of the early portion of the DAY wearing no winter-wear, simply because it wasn't even cold. 31st december, my ass.
now. other things. i am now probably the proud owner of an over-sized grey t-shirt that has FILTHYCUNT stylishly written across its chest. YES. i DID NOT buy it. someone else got it for me. and DINGDINGDING, he doesn't know what FILTHYCUNT means. HAHA. whatever. ok. then. in the evening i went out on a walk with an old friend. nicest walk ive had in a LONGLONG time. even the weather supported it. not cold, nor hot. pleasant. i STOLE a victoria's secret DREAMANGELS heavenly perfume from her bag. she knows it. she let me have it only. she didnt want it. what will i do? it comes in this tiny thing that fits in your palm. smells daaaaamn nice, man. yes. shutup.
RIGHTNOW im sitting and listening to songs. MERI LAUNDRY KA EK BILL EK AADHI PARI NOVEL what? i suddenly felt like listening to it. shut up.
so. ok. new year. whatever. doesn't make much of a difference i think. the last year passed by WAY TOO FAST for it to be a new year already. lets see.. i passed out of school. got into college. i NEVER DREAMED that i would get into this college. i thank whoever is responsible for this. i have made new friends. GOOD ONES also. yay! =D .. ok ok. all the capitals i have used in this post are actually shouts in my head. yes. good. OK ok. i dont feel like writing anymore. i have more things i COULD write, but i dont feel like it. i LOVE many things. yay! =D
snaps are: snap 1 is me. in Rrrr.'s new coat. holy comfortable, batman. ilove that piece of clothing. snap 2 is me. in a wig. NOTAWORD. snap 3 is a poster of DEFIANCE. upcoming edward zwick film with DANIEL CRAIG. yay =D click on DEFIANCE or the poster and you can see the trailer on YOOTOOB. ilovedanielcraig iwanttosee thisfilm RIGHTNOW!
Stretched out on the grass. If I wanted someone to lie beside me, I'd want you. If I wanted someone to hold my hand, I'd want you. If I wanted someone to stare at, I'd want you. If I wanted someone to fall asleep with in the cool shade of the trees on that chilly winter day, I'd want you. And if I wanted nothingness, I'd still want you.
And I'm not the only one staring at the sun. Afraid of what you'd find if you took a look inside I'm not just deaf and dumb staring at the sun. Not the only one who's happy to go blind.
Photograph taken at Santiniketan. I call it the Dark Sun. The quote in italics is from Staring at the Sun by U2.
The sound of someone chopping off the branches of a tree, when everything else is silent, is beyond description. It must be the feeling one gets when someone stabs you in the back. The sound of a rickshaw chain missing its metal loops, when everything else is silent and there is a needle chill burning your skin, is beyond description. It must be the feeling one gets when someone smashes your head with a hammer. The sight of a cave of trees lighted up by the headlights of a car, in pitch darkness, is beyond description. It is breathless. And it isn't time that's passing by, It is you and I.
Photograph 1 is a tree obstructing the sky. Photograph 2 is Doubletake,Doublethink walking on the rail-tracks. Both photos were taken on my trip to Santiniketan. The last two lines, which are in italics, is from a poem by Ruskin Bond.
I'm feeling pretty lame for some reason. I don't want to study. I don't want to do badly in the exam. I don't want to study. I have to make sure I don't do badly in the exam. There is a story called Cupid and Psyche in my syllabus. I have decided to not study it because it is very long and I have never studied it before. Above is a snap which I found when searching for Cupid and Psyche on Google Images. I have decided not to study it. I like the drawing though. Good job who-ever has drawn it. I like Psyche's hair. She is very pretty. Cupid reminds me of Angel from X-Men3. I want Cupid's wings. Right. Now. I still can't figure out what that lump under Psyche's chin is. Psyche is very pretty. I have an exam on Western Literature tomorrow.
To walk. To just be able to walk. Together. And not talk. And know when to talk. And know when to say what. And to be able to be happy about it. Silently. And to smiling on the inside. And not letting it show. And to actually mean it.
To experience happiness. To experience freedom. Solitude. Joy.
To be in love. But do nothing about it. in search of solitude.. Journal entry dated July 30th: Extremely weak. Fault of pot. Seed.. In Memory Of Christopher McCandles. Snaps taken from Into The Wild.