Just because.

I'm going insane.
as in bang my head on the wall just for the heck of it insane. i'm bored. my exams are 4days away and i still haven't studied a thing. i just dont feel like it, man. i mean, i'm scared and all.. ooh whats gonna happen i'm gonna flunk kinda scared. not helping. i just cannot get myself to sit down with my study things. on the contrary, what i have been doing -

sleeping - oh its very nice, especially because of the nice weather.
reading books - which are in no way related to my syllabus - jonathan livingston seagull. again.
listening to music - i'll give you an entire playlist before this post ends.
brooding - oh ohh ohhh.
going out - whenever i've been able to muster the energy. and the need (sneak a drink of pepsi). bi-ii-ig issues my parents have about me having pepsi. the other day, i went all the way to new market just to have nahoums brownies :)
watching stuff - well, i just got addicted to the o.c. again. i started downloading all the episodes straight from season1. i've been watching about 2episodes each day.

i'm useless.
i should just die.

sigh.
yesterday was the jethro tull/anoushka shankar concert. i am not even going to start talking about that lest i get carried away. it was bizarre. for reasons like 'i'm accustomed to seeing stuff like this on youtube where they've performed in london or arizona or wherever'. to see them in person.. damn. ian anderson is a very funny man. and anoushka shankar smiles a lot. the fusion tracks were really nice. especially the matchup at the end. the flutes.. absolutely amazing. by the end of it, it was kinda like.. 'haa. satisfaction. i think i can die now' or something. the lighting was beyond amazing. the entire show itself was something. i was having coffee during a break. Rrrr and a brother of her's were there. suddenly we get a report from inside that the show had started. i couldn't find a dustbin so i just chucked half a cup of coffee. no clue where it went. i located the dustbin a moment later, when i turned around.


moving on to other things.
sometime last week, i cut myself while shaving. corner of my lips. shit it hurt. well, i thought it would cure in no time. boy, was i wrong. instead of healing, it's actually spread. the right corner of my lips are slowly starting to look like something straight out of the dark knight. no prizes for guessing what. it hurts. it really hurts.

i have this thing i do. given a situation, a word, something, anything really.. i directly relate it with some film or the other. i don't know. it just comes. i can't help it. it gets annoying after a while. trust me, i've been told. but, i'm really sorry. i just cannot help it.

we all know about the mumbai blasts by now. if anyone doesn't.. go flush yourself down the toilet. the night it happened, i didn't really think much of it because i was sleepy. i saw 10 dead, 25 injured, and i fell asleep. i woke up in the morning. two sms'es. both asking me to watch the bloody news. the later with a reference to the joker from the dark knight. speaking of chaos. my kind of reference. i turn on the news. chaos. i glue myself to the news for the next 3hours. straight. all that i see is chaos. at the end of the 3hours.. 82 dead, 200 injured. what i was seeing was shocking. it scared the hell out of me, man. the newspaper had the scariest photograph.. this old man being helped by a police official to walk out of the railway station. it was empty except for bags, and shoes, and blood everywhere. everywhere. i cant even imagine something like that happening. i'm done talking about this. it's too sad and scary.


here's the bunch of twelve songs that i've been hooked on to for the last couple of days. i made a playlist on iTunes. named it playlist. they're in the exact order below. nice songs. has a lot of emotion and meaning. a lot. and in case you haven't heard some of em.. click. you'll be redirected to a youtube video.
:)

1. Dice - Finley Quaye & William Orbit.
2. Dudley - Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
3. Orange Sky - Alexi Murdoch.
4. Mercy - Duffy.
5. Saturday Morning - Eels.
6. The Way We Get By - Spoons.
7. Never Tear Us Apart - INXS.
8. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty.
9. Maybe This Christmas - Ron Sexsmith.
10. Champagne Supernova - Matt Pond.
11. I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie.
12. Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head - B.J.Thomas.


the snaps..
a - is a concert poster of the yeah yeah yeahs.
i love the yeah yeah yeahs.
b - is a piece of art which i like from doubletake, doublethink's bedroom wall.
photo c/o senjuti.
c - and i quote.
introduce a little anarchy.
upset the established order and everything becomes chaos.
d - is a fork and a spoon holding hands and walking.
just because..

Lines..

Oh, and you know the thing about chaos?

It's fair.
...

Houston, we have a problem.
...

Dear Father.
...

With the first sound he made, Jean Baptiste Grenouille sent his mother to the gallows.
...

Find him.
Or I'll peel the flesh off her bones.
...

Oh Captain! My Captain!
...

The Edge Of Heaven.

Of lives, colliding.

But never actually meeting each other.
Of time, clashing.
But never actually knowing it did.
At the Edge Of Heaven.

Winter is coming.

Today, when i woke up in the morning, i felt a slight shiver. and although ive been feeling this chill for quite a few days now, today it somehow felt a little different. winter is finally arriving. i love the winter. i love christmas. i love it so much, i cant even begin to explain how much i love it.

and then i remembered i had a whole bunch of christmas songs. so, i sat down and started listening to them. i remember i was a huge Orange County fan. i loved that show. to an extent, i still do. and in the first season they played this song called 'maybe this christmas' in the chrismukkah episode. i loved it. here's the video.

Maybe this Christmas will mean something more
Maybe this year love will appear
Deeper than ever before
And maybe forgiveness will ask us to call
Someone we love
Someone we’ve lost
For reasons we can’t quite recall
Mmm, maybe this Christmas

- Ron S.

i love winter.
i love christmas.
i love it so much.
it makes me happy.

:)

Blind.

True love is blind.

Snap.

I'm feeling kind of odd.
So I'll just say this.

90% of what I know are based on assumptions.
The remaining 10% are assumptions.

There.
I said it.
Snap.

Whims of a maneater.

And he sat there and he stared down at his paws.
He felt lazy.
He felt tired.
He felt drowsy.
Hungry.

His stomach grumbled.
He hadn't had lunch yet.
When was lunch coming?

He stared at the bars.
He stared at his confinement.
He stared at the spectators.
Those two-legged creatures who glared at him.
And they pointed.
And they kept glaring.

He was feeling too lazy.
Too tired.
Too drowsy.
Too hungry.
He sat there.
And he stared at his paws.
When suddenly..
bomp.

Something fell.
Somewhere near him.
What was it?
He raised his head and he looked around.
There was a small ball of mud not too far away from him.
Where did it come from?
It can't harm me, he thought.
He got back to staring at his paws.

And again..
bomp.

He raised his head again.
And he looked around.
Another small ball of mud.
This time nearer.
It was just beside one of his hinds.
And before he had time to look around..
bomp.

On his belly.
He gave a small grunt.
And he looked at the bars.
There were the two-leggeds.
There were four of them straight ahead.
Across the bars.
They glared.
And one of them moved it's arms.
And..
bomp.

This time he felt it on his shoulder.
He gave another small grunt.
He looked straight at the two-legged that had moved.
It made noises.
Irritating ones.
Screechy ones.
He stared at it.
Stared.
Didn't move.

It moved again.
And..
bomp.
On his forehead..


He let out a roar.
With unimaginable speed, he leapt towards the bars.
They were merely a few paws away.
He leapt.
At the two-legged.
That two-legged.

And he reached beyond the bars.
And the two-legged hadn't seen it coming.
It froze.
It's face contorted.
He could see it.
He saw a flash of it's contorted face.
Before his right paw smacked on it with a sickening thud.
The left slashed at it's belly.

Red, thick, warm liquid gushed from it's face and it's belly.
It bled.

And it screamed.
And he snatched at it again and caught it in a hug.
And he ripped it's belly apart.
And he slapped it's face silly.

He could smell it.
He could smell the blood.
He could feel the warmth of it on his paws.

And he let go.
He did not want to kill it.
He knew he hadn't killed it.
He let go.
And it fell.
And he roared.
He roared like he had never roared before.
And there was warm, red blood on his paws.
And he roared..


And he let out a roar.
And he looked up.
The two-legged stepped back.
And all four of them walked away.
And he got back to staring at his paws.